15 questions to craft the perfect gift
Crafting a meaningful gift is hard. Options abound, expectations run high, and time ticks away.
Each time someone comes to us with this conundrum, we work through 15 questions to hone in on a gift that’s just right.
In this article, we’ll walk through those 15 questions, grouped into 3 parts.
Whether you work with us or not, we hope you find nuggets of inspiration for your next gift.
Part 0: Assuming the role
We invite you to think of yourself as an architect — a grand constructor of gifts.
To build a gift, you’ll roll up your sleeves and create a space for your loved one to step into.
Your construction might be whimsical like a sandcastle, cozy like a cabin, or majestic like a palace.
Regardless of the specific form, the process is always full of intention, effort, and care.
Part 1: Picking a site
First, we’ll understand the context in which the gift will live.
We’ll want to pick a suitable “site” upon which to construct the gift.
We’re looking for a landscape with open space and resonant themes.
In that spirit, our first 5 questions will explore your loved one’s headspace:
What is the occasion & what does it mean to them? A birthday is different from an anniversary, and both are different from a retirement party. Even within birthdays, 21st and 60th birthdays elicit different feelings. By naming the emotions they’re feeling, we start from a place of empathy.
How are they celebrating? A gift doesn’t exist in a vacuum. We’ll want to paint a picture of the celebration — people, places, surrounding events. Then, we can design a gift that fits right in.
What do they expect? If there’s something they don’t want (like being surprised), we’ll consider that. If there’s something they absolutely want (like spending quality time), we’ll take that into account too.
What’s their vibe? Maybe they like tender and sentimental moments that tug at the heartstrings. Or maybe silly and playful is more their jam. We’ll pick some energies to dial up and others to dial down.
What’s been going on in their life lately? To close our search for a site, we’ll reflect on what it might be like to be your loved one. What highs and joys have they experienced? What have they been struggling with? These overtones fill out the landscape upon which we’ll design.
Part 2: Laying the foundation
Our first 5 questions point us to a site upon which we’ll design.
Our next 5 questions will help us a lay a foundation.
We’ll touch on forces enabling and constraining you, so we can define the shape and size of our creation.
What do you want to convey to them? If the gift were a home run, what would they say and feel right after? If the gift had a voice and could speak a sentence aloud, what would it say? The answer that emerges is our north star. It guides and emboldens us.
Does anyone else’s voice belong? For example, a bachelor party could inspire a gift from the whole group. Each person can contribute equally, or some voices can stand in the foreground, while others fill the background. A gift needn’t be a solo undertaking.
What role do you want your loved one to play? Maybe they’re purely a recipient, surprised entirely by your gift. Or maybe they’re invited in as a co-creator. (Co-creation works especially well for shared occasions like anniversaries. It leaves room for surprise, while allowing you both to give and receive.)
How much time do you have? Is the occasion days or weeks away? Additionally, how many hours can you devote to crafting the gift? Clarity here helps us make intentional tradeoffs.
How much budget will you allocate? We start by thinking about a range of budgets. The low end can be a constraint that inspires creativity. The high end can be a green field that gives us space to imagine and play. (If you’re feeling limited by budget, joining forces with other loved ones can broaden the range of options.)
Part 3: Filling it in
By this point, we’ve picked a site for our gift and we can see the general structure, shape, & size of what we’ll build.
Our final 5 questions will help us bring the creation to life with details and flourishes.
We’ll explore your unique window into your loved one’s life, to create a gift only they could receive and only you could give.
What are some of your favorite memories together? What do you recall about your first encounter? What early adventures and joyful highs have there been? Old photos can provide great inspiration.
What’s the language of your relationship? You two have a unique vocabulary – a shared set of references and inside jokes. These can seed a gift idea entirely or act as small, delightful flourishes.
How is the relationship different now than it was a year ago? Just as your relationship with them is unique, this moment in the relationship is unique. How have they impacted, supported, or enabled you lately? Have there been any recent milestones, developments, or shifts?
How do you spend time together these days? The hobbies, routines, and happy places you share are really strong clues. Similarly, ways you want to spend time together in the future can act as guiding lights.
What do you love and appreciate about them? Expressing this sentiment is a gift in and of itself. As the folks at Odyssey Works have written, “people hunger to be seen, to be known intimately, and to be appreciated for their own specificity.” Moreover, you can see beautiful things about them that they might not see themselves.
Give it a try
Next time you’re looking for a gift, try this approach. Step into the role of architect, pick a suitable site, lay a foundation, and fill it in with vibrant detail.
Some of these 15 questions might feel alive; pull on those threads.
Other questions might feel difficult; challenge yourself to jot something down.
Trust that if you allow all of the glimmers of inspiration to swirl, exciting ideas will emerge.
When you land on a gift that’s just right, you’ll feel it. And, when they receive it, they’ll feel it too.
Josh Rosenfeld designs custom gifts that take everything you love about someone and turn it into a playable game. Along with his team at Odes Unboxed, he’s helped hundreds of people play, connect, and cry happy tears. When he’s not crafting gifts, Josh is usually writing songs, playing tennis, or geeking out on dark chocolate.