What to get someone who has everything
We’ve all been there. Grandpa’s 80th birthday. Mother’s Day. A best friend’s wedding.
“You don’t need to get me anything,” they insist. “I already have everything I need.”
Despite their claim, a gift seems called for, and you’re left wondering what you can get for someone who has everything.
When we design this kind of gift, there are 5 principles that guide us.
(1) Start from a clear intention
A gift isn’t just an object. Using Lea Redmond’s definition, a gift is a “specific and intentional act of care.”
And so, whenever we create a gift, one of the first things we get clear on is our goal.
If the gift were a home run, what would your loved one feel in the moments after?
Or, if the gift had a voice and could speak a sentence aloud, what would it say?
Often, we create gifts that help people feel cared for, seen, and celebrated.
Whatever feeling we’re aiming for, we write it down, challenge ourselves to get specific, and treat it as a north star.
(2) Make it an experience
With a goal in mind, we next think about how to achieve that purpose.
We’ve found that one of the best ways to affect someone is to take them on a journey.
We cast your loved one not as a passive recipient of the gift but as a hero at the center of an adventure.
We build an ephemeral world for them and invite them to play, explore, express, and co-create.
Often, we invite you into this adventure too, so that you can share it together.
This approach not only offers quality time but also seeds lasting memories.
(3) Ease in with play
Gifts that go deep work best when they start with gentle onramps.
When people use their hands and play, they get out of their heads.
Playing in this way creates a “magic circle” — a space in which ordinary rules are suspended.
In this new space, you have permission to take risks and try on new ways of being.
And so, as we ease your loved one into a world built for them, we engage the senses.
There’s music to set the mood, scented candles to evoke a sense of place, food & drink to delight, toys to manipulate, and secrets to discover.
This mix of puzzles, pampering, and play creates a space that’s ripe for heartfelt expression.
(4) Share specific words
When a gift shines, it sings out “I picked this out just for you.” No one else could have received the gift, and no one else could have given it.
This is best achieved with specificity — naming stories, memories, inside jokes, and details from your relationship.
So, we explore your window into your loved one’s life. Then, we aim to reflect your loved one back to them, showing them who they are in your eyes.
Not with generic platitudes or flowery adjectives but with specific facts, nouns, and verbs.
Where pampering & play are rising action, these moments of heartfelt expression are the climax in our narrative arc.
(5) Preserve the experience with a keepsake
All climaxes eventually subside. The world of the gift is liminal. The magic circle will close and life will return to normal.
We want to get the best of both — the thrill of an experience and the permanence of an object.
The accouterments discovered throughout the gift bring us partway toward this goal. For example, if a gift includes a candle, each time your loved one lights it, they’ll be brought back to their experience.
Going a step further, we include 1-2 personalized keepsakes in each adventure we create.
We design these objects to be expressive, beautiful, and compact so that they earn a place on a mantel and give your loved one warm fuzzies for years.
An example
To see how theory is applied in practice, let’s look at an example.
One Mother’s Day, we teamed up with a gifter named Steven. His mom, Andrea, had this intractable notion that she could have been a better mom. So, we set out to show her how much she meant to him.
To start, we set a clear intention. We wanted to hold Steven’s mom in a hug.
Next, we resolved to make the gift an experience. Andrea is an avid reader. So we sent her an at-home adventure that would whisk her away to a cozy bookshop. It was a place that was intimate and familiar, yet layered and full of secrets.
The experience itself began with a sense of play. We brought the world to life through snacks, tea, a candle, and a light puzzle.
This opened up space in which we could shower Andrea with specificity. We told vivid stories from Steven’s childhood and adolescence.
Finally, we left Andrea with a lasting item: a personalized book. It was a precious keepsake that Andrea would cherish forever.
For Steven, creating the gift was a gift in itself. It gave him new eyes, allowing him to see all that made his mom beautiful.
For Andrea, the gift was life-changing. She called Steven right after finishing it. She was a puddle of emotional goo.
After a decade of trying, Steven finally got through to his mom.
Give it a try
Next time that you’re struggling to find a gift, see what ideas these 5 principles inspire.
Start from a clear intention, make it an experience, ease in with play, share specific words, and include a keepsake that extends the magic.
You’ll know you’re on the right track if it’s a gift that no one could receive but them and that no one could give but you.
When the big day comes, you’ll feel like a hero, they’ll feel atop the world, and you both just might cry happy tears.
Josh Rosenfeld designs custom gifts that take everything you love about someone and turn it into a playable game. Along with his team at Odes Unboxed, he’s helped hundreds of people play, connect, and cry happy tears. When he’s not crafting gifts, Josh is usually writing songs, playing tennis, or geeking out on dark chocolate.